Negative

I don't post many negative blogs because I am trying to be a more optimistic person. Today, not so much. I am so over this damned deployment. I am over my Hubby taking stress out on me, I am tired of taking my stress out on him, etc. Its seriously a vicious cycle right now. We are SO close to being done and right now we are bickering a lot. Oh and the bickering is beyond stupid, its over the smallest things. Its just ridiculous.

I will admit to feeling jealous and resentful of things right now. I really am feeling like a non-existent priority in his life right now. I know he is not intentionally doing it, but it still sucks and hurts. I only get so much of his time and I would love for him to spend at least a smidge of the phone conversation being mushy to me. A girl needs that every once in awhile, especially when she is used to having her Hubby be that was when they are together. Well, at least part of the time.

Thankfully we do not have much longer left on this deployment. I think as long as I keep myself busy that I should be fine. This weekend I am having a few of the local Doulas over to just chat and get to know one another. Most of them already know each other and since I am new I want to get to know them and more about the birth climate down this way. I am also hoping to promote the ALACE workshop I am hosting. Get their ideas on good places to go hang up fliers.

I got the Prepak from school today and I am just a little overwhelmed. I need to let it sink in that the next step is here. I will start slowly with reading everything tomorrow. I went over the check list today and have everything, so that's good. I need to make a plan for the next couple of weeks about what I want to accomplish. I am such a procrastinator and I really need to find ways to combat that. I have gotten much better thankfully.

Things are going to get really hectic over the next few months. I am both looking forward to it and dreading it. I can't wait for fall. By that time Hubby should be home and its also my favorite time of year!