12 July 2009

30 Pounds Gone!

Yep, you read the title right: I have lost a total of 30 pounds *does a little twirl*!!!! I broke down and got on a scale this weekend. I am currently at 140 lbs exactly! I started out at 170 in November, which was the first time I was weighed since I started on this path in September. My goal was to loose 30-40 pounds, so I guess now I just have to loose 10 more pounds and will have hit the high end of my goal.

I am kinda in shock. I really did not think I was that thin, even with my size 7 jeans falling off lol. I will probably always feel like the fat girl. I was one for soooo long that its kinda hard to break those mental habits, yk?

This is just another piece to the new chapter of my life. I cannot believe how much happier I am even with the moments of stress that I have. I feel so much lighter physically. I also feel lighter mentally and physically as well. I guess you never realize how truly bad a situation was until you are on the other side. Its so nice not to have all that negativity surrounding my life. I was a pretty freaking positive person 4 years ago and its amazing how quickly that person is coming back.

I am not gonna comment on the shit that is being spewed about me. Myself and several others know the truth and that's really all that counts. One of my favorite quotes serves the situation well: "Its not what they think; its what I know."

I am truly blessed to know the most amazing people and am so thankful to have them in my life, I don't know what I would do without them. I really nailed it when I said that this was going to be the best year yet. It may not have come about exactly as I planned, but life seldom operates that way lol.

I have a lot of things going on up in my head right now. I am starting over at square one and I have to reevaluate a lot of things. I gave up pieces of myself and compromised on aspects of who I am that I never should have had to. Part of me is rediscovering who I am and part of me is creating a whole new person. If that makes sense? Shit happens, I could have sat here and wallowed forever about how unfair this is, but I am stronger than that and I fucking deserve better. I realize that now and am loving every moment of my life, cause this is the good life.

Like the saying goes "everything happens for a reason" and I know pieces of the bigger reason. I am really looking forward to living the other pieces.

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