18 July 2009

A Big Step

I did something huge two days ago. I got on a plane, by myself and flew to Baltimore. From there I was picked up by a friend and we headed back to her house in VA. This is probably the most independent thing I have done in my life. Its....odd. I was not so nervous about coming out here as I was about the actual flying part.

I will be here for about two weeks. I am having a great time out here, but I am finding it hard to completely shut off my brain from everything that I have going on. I have so much to do in regards to the divorce and I am really hoping that this is all over with very soon. I just want to move on completely and am really tired of this limbo bullshit. I should not have to wait a year to move on with my life.

I have been thinking a lot about my future lately and what I want. Funny enough, its actually kinda hard for me to sit here and daydream. I am not used to doing that anymore. I was always so focused on STBX that I neglected myself. Trying really hard not to do that anymore.

I recently started writing out a new list of goals. I have some pretty interesting stuff on there if I do say so myself. I am really looking forward to seeing what I can accomplish on this list of goals. On my last list I put down "loose 30-40 pounds" and I did not think I could accomplish that but, I did! I am going to concentrate on things that make me happy and that will help me grow more into this new me.

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