Words cannot even begin to describe the pain and devastation you have caused me. I spent 4 years of my life with you, being lied to, cheated on and being abused by you. You broke me down with your verbal and psychological abuse, turning me into something I never wanted to become.
I spent 4 years supporting you, fixing your problems, taking care of your son when he was with us, all to make a better life. You promised me so many things and never ever came through with any of them.
Everyday I learn about a new lie you told, and its sick. It sickens me to see that you are repeating the same pattern with your new girlfriend that you did with me. You're also putting your son in the middle of all of this and its lower than dirt, just like you. For the last 13 years now you have been causing nothing but pain and devastation to the people you claim to love. You're a cancer that can never be cured. Even your own family realizes this.
With each passing day I wake up a little bit more, heal a little more of the trauma you caused me. I know that I will move on to bigger and better things to have an amazing life. You are going to remain stuck in your pattern of hurting people. You're never going to get ahead of your $43k in back child support, get past the credit/money problems you have or probably ever see your older 2 children. While you continue this pattern, you will probably loose any contact you have with your youngest son as well, not that you care because you have a new "son" with your girlfriend. I mean, what kind of father only calls his son once a week while the ex-stepmother talks to him twice a week? You've never been to any of his school functions or even one of his many sports games. You seem him every other weekend and for holidays, that's it. You make this big talk about how you want to be a better father and that's all it is, talk. I realize this now.
You'll never know just exactly how much a favor you did for me. I cannot believe how much less stress I have in my life now that you are gone. You blamed everybody else for our stress, including me, when all along it was you. I kick myself everyday for not realizing sooner just how horrible of a person you really are.
When this first started, I thought I would die without you in my life. That's how sick you made me. I may not be exactly where I want to be right now, but I am light years ahead of you. I'm moving on with my life, reconnecting with the people you cut me off from, rebuilding the credit you are trying so hard to ruin. Basically, I am kicking ass and taking names.
I think the thing that saddens me most is that you don't even realize how great I was as your wife. How much I put up with, fixed for you and took care of. You are shoving that all onto your new girlfriend now and in a few years, she will be in the exact same position as all your other exes. I just pray that you don't hurt her son as much as you've hurt your own, but I know that's wishful thinking.
Our divorce will be finalized on Friday. Exactly 4 months since your cowardly email to me saying you wanted a divorce. You weren't even man enough to come here on your R&R and do it in person. Friday, will probably be one of the happiest and saddest days of my life. Sad, only because its the end of something. Not because I want to be with you. So go ahead and keep claiming that's what I want, its not the truth.
The truth is, you did me a tremendous favor in being a coward. I never would have gotten free of you otherwise. I no longer have to worry about your child support, paying it off, your bankruptcy, paying the bills, fixing your credit so that we could one day buy a house. Now, all I have to worry about now is me. For once in the last four years, I get to take care of me for a change.
Its quite refreshing to have a clean slate. I know that 5 years from now, I will have my dream of owning a home, children, etc. I also know where you will be 5 years from now, onto the next victim you find.
I thank the Gods everyday for the learning opportunity that our relationship was. Without that, I would never have realized just how strong I am