03 January 2009

Feeling Low

Aunt Flow is in town so I know that is the reason I am all emotional and feeling blah. I am really glad she is in town because this has made the shortest cycle I have had in AGES. Seriously, going from 45+ day cycles to 29 is exactly what I need and want. Now, I am not sure if its from the snow lighting up my room and basically causing a form of Lunaception or if its from all my working out. I would like to think its from my working out. Unfortunately, I have my doubts and am slightly convinced its a fluke. I am gonna try putting a night light on around the same cycle days and see what happens. I abhor sleeping with light in my room so this is gonna be very difficult. I am afraid not to do the night light route because I want to keep my cycles at this length, it means when/if Hubby and I decide to try again for kids that we will have more shots at it.

As of yesterday I have all my money together to enroll in AAMI, its in a nice neat money order sitting in my wallet. Now, I just need to finish filling out the application and talk to the Director again. I am super freaking nervous, as I have stated over and over again. Several family members assure me that I am going to do awesomely and I wish that was enough to convince me of that fact. I think once I start doing the work and am satisfied with it, then I will be convinced.

I played around with the new yarn I got for the holidays. Its acrylic so it feels really weird to me, considering what I was knitting with before. I tried again (seriously like 10th time) to get a hang of this scarf pattern and its just driving me insane. I cannot get it to work for me and I feel like an even bigger moron. It keeps looking bunched up and nothing like the picture. So, I quit and will try a different scarf pattern later.

Hubby emailed me at 1 am this morning. It went to my hotmail account because I had emailed him a link to my midwifery book wish list. He is out on mission and all the places they have been hitting don't have freaking phones grrrr. I have no idea when I will hear from him again, as usual and I really need to hear from him. When I am grouchy like this, he is the one who calms me down and gets me thinking positive again.

I have been trying to get into a good mood myself all day and its just not working. I feel like this day is just dragging by and I really wish I could just go to bed. I would take a nap if I was not afraid of it aggravating my insomnia. Maybe I will put some music on while I fold laundry and see if that helps?

No comments: