09 January 2009

Took A Step Today

I mailed my application paperwork and tuition checks this morning. The part of me that is terrified of change really wanted to go back to the mailbox and pull it back out. Fortunately, I did not give into that urge and am moving forward with this amazing change in my life. I celebrated by going to the bookstore with my Mom and was surprised to find my Dad tagging along too. He stayed in the car listening to his Ipod though.

I totally scored thanks to the $25 gift card I got for my birthday back in October (thanks Grammie!) and I picked up Ina May's Guide To Childbirth and Twilight. Thanks to a 20% off coupon I only had to pay $1.80, totally worth it. I am so very excited to read Ina May's book. Spiritual Midwifery changed my life and set me on the path that I am now walking. While reading that I entertained ideas of becoming a midwife. This was 2 years ago, almost to the day when I checked the book out from the library. I pushed the thought out of my mind as being practically impossible and continued on reading about home birth and natural family living instead. I also waited anxiously for my husband to return from his first deployment so we could start trying to get me knocked up.

Here I am two years later, waiting again for my husband to come home while I start midwifery school and hope to get pregnant when he comes home. Its amazing to see how far I have come and how some things never change lol.

I am going to start off with Ina May because I have been warned about the powers of Twilight. I believe several people have called it "literary crack." While I do not mind getting really sucked into a book, I think its pertinent to get sucked into a very good midwifery related book. Especially after just applying to midwifery school.

Still no word from Hubby. I guess my original thought of hearing from him on Monday is looking like a better possibility by the minute. I just wish the nightmares would not have started again.

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