08 February 2009

When Will This End!?

I am done. Just done. I want my husband home, I want to get back to our lives TOGETHER. I want this deployment to end. I am so fucking sick of being apart from my husband. We've been married three years and he has been home for nine months of our marriage. Aunt Flow is in town and I am just fucking over everything. Yes, I am probably going to curse a lot through this blog.

I am tired of being alone all the time. I am so frustrated right now that if my car was functioning I would probably actually leave the house. Despite the fact that I have no idea where anything is around here. Well, besides the casino and the store. Then, my fear of driving sends me into a panic attack like state and I realize I am stuck.

What would really help is having an actual end date. Thanks a lot Army for basically causing me to go insane and not ever letting me know when this thing will fucking end. Yeah, I guess giving me a freaking weeks notice last time was really nice of you. I WANT TO KNOW NOW! I honestly do not know how much more of this I can take. I need my husband. I need to be held by him, to be able to kiss him, to be able to make love to him and be able to talk to him.

I know I am really strong, but there is only so much I can take before I break and I guess almost six months gone is that point. It might help if I knew he was going to call today or not. I am guessing not because he is on a mission...again. So much for things slowing down for his unit.

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