Winter Nights

I really dislike this time of year because of instances like right now, where its about 5 pm and I want to go to sleep because of how dark it is outside. Not to mention I am nice and full on some spaghetti which is also making me sleepy as well.

This time of year is so hard during deployments. Not only do I miss Hubby, I also miss my stepson as well. Its so hard having him so close and not being able to see him. I just cannot afford the gas to drive all the way out to him and it is too uncomfortable to spend the night in Hubby's ex-wife's house with her new family. Being a blended family during a military deployment sucks. I don't matter during this time at all and I am not considered family no matter how much talk goes on.

I am sliding back into pessimism and its really hard to hang on to the positive vibes I was experiencing. I am hoping it will pass soon and I am going to do everything I can to help it pass quickly. I thinking I need to take another one of those mental breaks I took about a week ago.

I think I just really need to do some sort of weekly chill out. Or an every other day centering and grounding. I need to find ways to practice the things I have learned to incorporate Paganism into my daily life. Its just really hard to remember things when I have so much else going on up in my head.

Things continue to get better and I know that is due in part to the positive thoughts I have been focusing on. I also know its just part of the cycle of things in our lives. Here's to hoping that this next cycle of good things lasts for awhile.