Yesterday was a truly amazing day in this nation, we pulled together and voted for change. The nation elected Sen. Barack Obama as our newest President. Along for the ride in the Vice President slot is Sen. Joe Biden. I had lost faith in America, lost faith that this nation would come back to her glory, lost faith in the people to come together for a common goal. I am happy to say that last night that faith has been restored. To quote President Elect Obama "change has come to America."
With all that said I had a very hard day today. Hubby called and we ended up bickering instead of talking. I don't know what our problem is but, we need to find a way to get past it. He told me he would call me back and never did. I spent the three hours after that crying so hard I was about to vomit. I hit an emotional low, so low that I was somewhat suicidal and had to call my Mom to see if she could stay with me. She said something to me that really clicked she said "you have a hard time trusting him because of what happened during the last deployment." She was totally right, not only is it hard to trust him because of all the problems of last time, its also hard to trust him because of how far away he is. I hope that makes sense to all of you.
Now that I am calmed down, I feel so much better and the suicidal moment has passed. I guess I had to get that all out to sorta come back to the surface. I have no idea how long this feeling is gonna last, I just hope it lasts awhile.
I have some things I need to do and hopefully I can accomplish them. I am going to need the support of all my friends and family. Thank you all for the support you have already given me and sorry to be asking for more. This will all be over again eventually and I am praying to the Goddess that there will be more time between deployments after this.
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